Polishing my Shield over My Tender Soul



Whenever anyone boasts about something they’re passionate about – so deeply that it’s prematurely all up in your business – BE LEERY of their true intentions.

Because at times, they’re telling themselves a story they don’t quite believe themselves, a topic they’re not quite comfortable with, a mission they haven’t literally put their heart and soul into. They’re speaking to themselves, not you. But in the hopes of winning their hearts and minds over, they recruit other believers to help validate their passion.

There are some truly amazing individuals and organizations that believe their passions so deeply, they eat, breathe and sleep it. But unfortunately, gullible exposure to people’s intentions can result in being blindsided, leaving you right on your ass in confusion. We don’t live in a world where people always mean what they say. The trick is to sniff out the genuine from the transparent bullshit.

Case in point. I worked for a company that blew me away with their mission of empowering women; who’s very own ‘mascot’ was one I had on my wall years prior. Slowly, signs arose that at first, made me question my own ethics, strengths and abilities. Little known to them, I grew up with a master manipulator. So it took me little time, and a few tearful nights, to regain composure and clean up my vision and see what was really happening.

There are many humanly tender factors that can inhibit clear vision of others’ intentions. No one really wants to go through life with our fists up. We still have a childlike innocence, to believe others will not harm us. We also need. We need tangible ‘stuff’ like an income and relationships. This ‘need’ can create vulnerability if fulfilled by the wrong hands. And we have ‘wants’. We want to be loved, valued, appreciated, respected.

These natural factors can put any person on a golden platter for the vultures of society, of the dating pool, of the career world. If we happen upon a shaman with purity of mind and heart, a saint who’s own belief structure literally disallows evil intent, with a husband who must have been hand-carved by god himself – then we’re in good hands. We can retain the innocence developed in utero and believe, love and grow without fear.

Unfortunately, this isn’t common. I will admit, I’m a bit jaded. I grew up in an environment where you basically had to watch your ass. And the fact that I had to learn this as a child makes it even worse. I’ve been lied to and cheated on. I’ve had a former employer fire me due to reporting the mistreatment of her children. I’ve had my husband’s ex stalk me and make ugly allegations for legal gain. All great things huh? Needless to say, my rose-colored glasses got a bit muddied.

However, I still have an open heart. I try to temper ‘giving the benefit of the doubt’ with proceeding with caution. At times, it creates unnecessary anxiety; a behavior I’m working on.

In the end. You have to find balance between faith and self-preservation. If we don’t, we can end up getting burned beyond recovery. We’re not victims as every step we take in life is a choice.

It’s a tightrope I tip toe on daily while raising my two daughters. We don’t live on a remote island or a hidden cabin in the woods. They are bound to have their hearts broken at some point. But if they learn how to recover while retaining self-respect AND love in their hearts – then I’ve done my job.

Being jaded or hard aren’t beautiful traits. But we have to also guard ourselves against potential storms. Be open. Be careful. Love greatly with rose-colored glasses, but make sure you polish them up often. ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s